Thoughtful Thursday

I've got to come up with a better title for these posts. .

Recently I've been completely in awe of time and the night sky in relation to eachother. Questioning the meaning. The reason behind our orbiting earth. I, more or less, will be rambling bits and pieces of my thoughts on the matter, in which case, there will most likely not be a clear conclusion. My sissy calls it an unresolved way of writing and quite frankly, they bug her to death.

In this season of my life, I have very little control. Which is extremely different from the life I led previously. God is teaching me something that I'm not able to put my finger on yet. I go from trying to control my every action vehemently, to wondering what meager effect those actions will have on the world. 

Bare with me. I know and adamantly believe our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, (here comes the but, don't take it the wrong way) but how exactly am I able to do that?

I'm quite sure I will not be able to sum up an answer to that question in this one post, although, that won't stop me from trying. 

Who am I? When considering all of time and space and eternity and existence and all of those allusive words filled with weighty concepts. . Who am I?

I am a tall, awkward, cookie monster, who hates mornings and crying, but that's not relevant. 

I am a planner. I make lists daily. I schedule what I'd like to learn and I attempt to micromanage the things under my control to the point of earning the nickname Nazi from my sister. It's a joke of course, but you get the idea. 

I worry. I try to hide the fact, but those close to me know it best. I can make myself sick by worrying.  

I hate the idea of time passing continuously, with it's indifference to what I do with it. 

I love the stars. 

The universe is massive. The stars burn, the planets orbit within our solar system. Beyond that, there are estimated to be billions of galaxies, filled with numerous astronomical scenes. Considering the magnitude of the heavens, who am I?

Psalms 8: 3-4

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

In the grand scheme of things, we are minuscule. . I am minuscule. Still 'He', the maker of the burning night sky, the author of each word which flows from the lips of the mortal, is mindful. Mindful of me.

My life has been purchased, which means I no longer 'own' it, I merely care for the mortal body and its actions. As a servant, my agenda is, joyful obedience to God's will. There is a fascinating analogy I heard recently, "we are suppose to be light, light comparable to that of moons, reflecting the sun".

I think there is a balance. We know that each decision we make will affect something. Each of our thoughts, our actions, determine who we are and what legacy we will leave behind. We will always have the ability to learn and grow our character, conforming it to The Word. We can find comfort in that fact, knowing we will not be useless. But to worry about the passing of time, will not affect its persistence to pass . Our worry is meaningless, not to mention a waste of the time so valued by the controlling, like myself. We as the creation, will never fully understand 'time', but it has been loaned to us-- whether or not to use it faithfully, equally diligent in the small things and peacefully resting in God's promises, is our decision.

Regardless,

The stars continue to burn, and time will remain incomprehensible to us.


Just a thought. . .

>>>Arrow